June 3, 2009

How to Speak "Michal and Kenna"

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  1. Talk a lot. Offer your opinion on lots of different topics.
  2. Speak very quickly. If someone tells you that you're talking fast, just tell them, "That's just the way I talk."
  3. Use big words. For example, tell your mom that her outfit is appropriate for the preschool picnic.
  4. Speak very enthusiastically. It's good to begin sentences with phrases like, "I have exciting news . . . " The "news" could be that you like a new food or that you have "changed princesses," which means you have a new favorite princess, or simply that you're excited about something.
  5. Ask lots of questions and I mean LOTS of questions. Ask your mom and dad questions. Ask cashiers in stores questions. Ask waitresses at restaurants questions. Make sure that, "I have a question . . . " is a regular part of your vocabulary.
  6. Master the art of turning a noun and into an adjective, or a verb, or both. Take the word "princess," for example. You can use it as a noun . . . "I am a princess." You can use it as a verb . . . "Could you please princess this grilled cheese?" (Translation, could you make it fancier than this plain, old grilled bread you just gave me?) Or you can use it as an adjective . . . "I love this dress Mom. It is so princess."
  7. Never use the whole word when you can shorten it. If something is sparkly, you can just say it's, "spark." If something has flowers on it, it's "flow." Yogurt is "yog" and Kid's Cliff Z Bars are "Zs." This works especially well when you can take it one step further and simply call something that is sparkly, for example your silver sparkly shoes, your sparks.
  8. Use references to things that you've seen on a television show no matter if the person you're speaking to has seen the show or not. This is especially effective when you can take a TV character's name and turn it into a verb. (see number 6) This way you can tell your sister to stop "Ho Hoing" -- being silly -- a reference to Ho Ho in Ni Hao Kai Lan. This can be a bit tricky when the same word is used to mean various things. So, "You are Oliviaing," a reference to Olivia the Pig (again, see number 6) can mean you're being a fortune teller, playing soccer or asking your mom to read you another book.
  9. Understand the varying degrees of fanciness and how to describe them. Something that is fancy is "cheerleader." If it's even fancier, then it's "wedding." Fancier than that is "bride," followed by "extremely bride," and then "princess." If something is really, really fancy, it's "Queen-Bride-Princess-Alice-in-Wonderland."
  10. And finally, when you don't know the word for something, you simply say, "gung." Whatchmacallit and thingamijig are so yesterday.


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7 comments:

  1. this post totally made me giggle. :)

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  2. That was priceless! You are SUCH a good writer!!

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  3. Anonymous11:42 AM

    The first picture is gorgeous. Where was it taken?

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  4. its a wonder you are still sane after keeping up with those 2 daily :)

    thanks for the laugh, VERY needed today!

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  5. Love this post, every single bit of it! Thanks for the grin.

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  6. Oh my gosh, I love this post! It is so nourishing to know that other moms of twins are experiencing some of the same sorts of things that I am. I could make a very similar kind of list for K & O (and maybe I will sometime soon)... it would be different, but so similar too. I wish our kids could meet sometime! I absolutely LOVE YOUR GIRLS!--- as always!
    Heather

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  7. Might i say, "fancy" has become part of my vocab' since reading grown up Kenna and Michal. Maybe now I shall add the degrees of "fancy"!

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