May 18, 2007

Where's Emily Post when you need her.

So what exactly is the appropriate thing to say to a store manager when your child, ummm, tinkles on her carpeted store floor?

If you're me, you say all sorts of really stupid things very quickly in a voice that's a couple octives higher than your regular speaking voice. You say things like, "Oh no. We just had an accident on your floor. Please let me clean it up. Really, I'm so sorry. She just went 30 minutes ago at the Corner Bakery. And oh my gosh, we stopped at McDonald's on the way here so she could go there. I don't know what happened. Again, I'm just so sorry. Can you please just give me some paper towels and I'll be glad to clean it up. Really, really, I'm happy to clean it up. I just don't know how this happened. Please just give me a Kleenex or a towel or anything. She really did just go. I promise. I don't know why she would have done this. Do you have anything I can wipe it up with?"

And what did the store manager say as I stood blubbering in her store watching the dingy blue carpeting turn dark blue as it absorbed the puddle left by my little one?

"Don't worry about it. We need to have the carpets cleaned anyway."

I felt so terrible that I bought each of the girls a new sun hat in the store. Two my-kid-just-peed-on-your-floor-and-I'm-so-embarassed-I-could-die hats. Gads.

In the pictures below Michal is the one in the beloved polka dot rain boots. She told me that she was wearing them so, and I quote, "I can jump in lots and lots and lots of water." A man, probably in his mid-thirties, actually stopped me and asked if I'd picked them out or if she had. For just a moment I thought about saying that I had just to see what he would say.

Hey, come to think of it, if one-who-shall-remain-nameless had been wearing rain boots when "the accident" happened, I bet hardly a drop would have made it to that darn blue carpet. Instead, someone-who-shall-remain-nameless was wearing brand new $54 shoes.

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